New Beginnings: A Manifesto
Dear Readers,
My mind is full of ideas to share with you. New things I’m learning about myself and about the world. For the past few months, I’ve been exploring. My art and my life have changed radically as a result, and I’ve been working out how to share all of that here.
The truth is, my exploration has not turned up any answers–only more questions. My beliefs are based upon a healthy dose of questioning, a steady curiosity, and an openness to whatever I may learn, whatever truths may presents themselves to me in my gradual search for meaning. Meaning. It is such a loaded word. Recently, I’ve discovered that meaning is also an important part of what I believe in. I’ve spent much of my life searching for it, though often what I find is more questions. These questions feel significant in their own way
Such a search for meaning may prove a valiant quest, but it also sets the standard incredibly high. Everything I do, everything I write is loaded with this enormous question of meaning, which can sometimes lead to road blocks in the writing process. It is the cause of my recent silence on this blog. It has brought me a sense of restlessness as I strive to record the changes I am going through and come up wordless every time. Nothing seems good enough. Nothing I write captures the complexity of this feeling that everything I know and believe is changing before my very eyes.
On top of that, these lessons are raw. They are real, and thus they are vulnerable. They have to do with spirituality, freedom, careers, life goals, who I am as a person, and who I want to be. Even if I had the words, these things are scary to share on a public domain. But they are also the truths that I most hope to publish. The meaning I’ve been searching for comes, not from one piece of writing; my most meaningful work is the life that I am living. To reflect on this, to share this with others, is my greatest goal.
The impetus to finally share these thoughts in this way came from three different sources:
The first–words from a wise artist named Zohara Rotem in her podcast, The Souloist. Zohara speaks to her listeners as though she is conversing with an old friend over coffee. She discusses the mysteries of life and boldly shares in a way that inspires me to do the same. Her thoughts on authenticity moved me to write more openly and naturally.
The second–long, important conversations with a yoga teacher, friend, and guide from my time in Oxford. This incredible woman speaks with patience and understanding that has helped me to better know myself. Thank you for everything, Rochelle.
The third, and final inspiration–one powerful bit of advice from a lovely new acquaintance, a professor at a local college, introduced to me by a dear friend from home, in a Cambridge bar where we discussed literature, change, and life’s great choices. Her advice to me was this: Don’t be shy about what you publish. Don’t be too perfectionist. If you have something to say, the meaning with shine through your words. Your journey, your growth will be evident in the pieces you write over time.
As a result of the advice–direct and indirect–that I received from these three brilliant women, I’m shaking off my fear, reviving Sunny and Sweet, and sharing my most authentic self. May it be meaningful to someone out there, if only for a moment.
Authentically yours,
Caroline